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United States News Title: Forever FUBAR Forever FUBAR! or, Patriotic thoughts on Memorial Day weekend. On Saturday the 22nd, I had the telescreen in the front room tuned to one of the news channels as I puttered around in the kitchen, dividing my attention between coffee-making and the latest grim tidings of the world's Great Grinding Badness. It was commencement morning at West Point, and while the reporters impatiently awaited the arrival of Emperor Barack, they filled the time with uplifting progressive-nationalistic chatter. I ignored most of it, but then one of them said something that surprised me a little but also made me happy: viz., that women made up 50 percent of this year's graduating class. At least, I thought he said it. I knew I'd have to rewind the DVR to make sure I'd heard correctly, but I didn't find it immediately unbelievable, in light of how long it's been now since we were teleported en masse to Bizarro World. As it turned out, what the reporter actually said was that 15 percent of the class was female. How disappointing. I'm putting on that smiley face again, though. The Obamunists, prodded by their homosexualist wing, have finally pushed repeal of the "Don't ask, don't tell" rule through the House, although Jim Abrams of the AP writes that "advocates on both sides [are] gear[ing] up for a fight in the Senate." According to Abrams, "gay rights" groups have made repeal of DADT "their top priority this year." As startling as it is to see homosexuals get all worked up about anything military — apart from, you know, those luscious young brutes in their delightfully scary costumes — I'm wishing them well. The reason is that I take seriously all those warnings from grumpy old War Conservatives: that the more women and confessed homosexuals the military is saddled with, the less unit cohesion, mission focus, and combat effectiveness it can maintain. Well, excellent! Let's choke the imperial legions with hurt feelings, discrimination complaints, assault investigations, pregnant soldierettes, queer diseases, and romantic melodramas in the midst of battle, say I. Now, true, if they let in uncloseted homosexuals, the armed forces might finally be able to recruit enough Arabic translators (who typically speak an exotic language of love as well, if you believe Minitrue), and that would please the higher-ups. But if the imperial military collapsed, and the empire with it, those Arabists would have to find honest jobs "on the economy," as military folk put it. Some may fear that unlimited progressivism in recruitment could lead to a military relying more heavily on "women pushing buttons" — and now "poofters pushing buttons" — raining death from afar on wedding parties and other peaceful civilian gatherings in exotic lands. But even as things are, the imperial military has no shortage of cowardly, amoral young video-gamers — most of them, I suppose, heterosexual males — who just love to push those buttons. A better objection is that women's joining the military signals and, indeed, advances our profound cultural degradation, especially when they abandon their children to do so. I would certainly struggle to dissuade any young lady I knew from going to work for the totalitarian butchers; but in the wider scheme, our culture and civilization are already lost no matter what any one of us does. We can't have everything; we can't even have much. But if we're lucky, one thing we can have is a weaker military, less able to drown the world in bloody atrocity and less able to hold us normal people hostage to that atrocity. I must exclaim, and not for the first time: What a peculiar empire is this Yankee Colossus
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