Latest Articles: Humor
Democrats Attack Elizabeth Warren 16 Times in Democrat Debate
Turkey holding 50 US nuclear bombs 'hostage' at air base, report says
Mary Poppins Movie Review (another disturbing Hollywood-remake targets children)
Neil DeGrasse Tyson Dismisses and Mocks Bible Account of Creation From Genesis-to-Revelation; (Laughs at Believers in Literal Bible as "Un-enlightened")
ABC News ‘slaughter in Syria’ footage appears to come from a Kentucky gun range
Census Bureau seeks state data, including citizenship info
Latest list of those allegedly targeted for illegal monitoring by ousted Obama holdover Amb to Ukraine
Fort Worth police officer fatally shoots woman in her home while checking on an open front door
Cop Stands Up to Bully Officers for Harassing Him, Gets Beaten, Arrested and Fired
Siblings Outraged by Their Brother's Fatal Shooting Dismiss the Fact That He was an Armed Robber - "Oh Well!"
U.S. Mint to redesign gold and silver American Eagles, implement security devices - Mnuchin chips the bird
"Abuse By The Police" Documentary Allows Victims Of Rape By Cops Who Got Away Scot Free To Speak Out
James OÂ’Keefe announces 'This may be the biggest story Project Veritas has ever broke' [CNN]
ELECTORAL COLLEGE OVERWHELMINGLY FAVORS REPUBLICANS, ABOLISHING ENTIRE SYSTEM ONLY REMEDY: STUDY
Rand Paul: Democrats Need to be Investigated Over Ukraine
Winnie the Pooh warns attempts to divide China will end in 'shattered bones'
A bunch of democratic faggot and tranvestite loving freaks from hell
Bill Barr Flames ‘Unremitting Assault’ On Religion, Traditional Values During Notre Dame Visit
Hunter Biden Steps Down From Chinese Board in Bid to fight.
AGW Hut! Hut! Huts! Woman Over Hot Dog
The NBA's China Problem Gets Worse After 2 American Arenas Eject Hong Kong Supporters
Jackie Brown star Robert Forster dies aged 78
A Latina novelist spoke about white privilege. Students burned her book in response.
Trump speaks to media during meeting with Chinese officials (Phase 1 trade treaty agreed to)
'Deeply harmful: Democrats fear O’Rourke will aid Trump by calling for seizing guns and taxing churches
Shepard Smith Stepping Down From Fox News
Orators of the Democrat Party
(WHOA!) Trump on Joe Biden at Rally, "He understood how to kiss Barack Obama's *ss".
Biden: ‘We Allow The Homophobes’ To Control The Agenda
SCARRED FOR LIFE: Post-Op Transgenders Start Movement to Encourage People to ‘Detransition’
President Trump is a Choir Boy Compared to Other Recent Presidents
With Request to Testify via Letter, Fake Whistleblower Achieves Peak Absurdity
More People Killed by Knives Than by Rifles, Shotguns, But Handguns Used in Most Murders
"It Drove Like A Drunk-Driver": Consumer Reports Eviscerates Tesla's Smart-Summon Feature
Does Corporate America Really Want to Hold a National Referendum on Whether Americans Value Their Own Freedoms or Corporate Freedom to Import Chinese Censorship More?
Neil deGrasse Tyson reacts to report of asteroids barreling toward Earth (Suggests asteroid "Deflector" shield like an 'Atari' game to protect Planet from annihilation)
Florida man who claimed self-defense after shooting man over parking spot sentenced
Buckle Up . . . Your Gym Bag
18-Year Old US Soldiers Now Entering Afghanistan 18 Years After War Began
Why Gilligan’s Island May be the Answer to Police Brutality
NBA Now Requiring All Players To Stand For Chinese National Anthem
Live: President Trump destroying Biden… and signs Executive Orders on transparency
TRUMP RIDS MAJOR U.S. CONTAINER PORT OF CHINESE COMMUNIST CONTROL
About that Fox News POLL...
James Clapper Admits He Was Following Orders From His 'Commander-In-Chief, President Obama'
Tom Cotton to IC IG: Your Evasiveness On Whether You Backdated Changes to the Whistleblower Process Borders on Criminal Obstruction
Complete Guide to the Scandals of the Obama Admin
Maria Bartiromo: IG Report on FISA “Will Be Released October 18th – As Thick as Telephone Book”…
Burisma Paid Joe Biden $900,000 for Lobbying – Ukrainian MP
DNC Town Hall - SNL
Post Date: 2019-09-30 11:48:08 by Tooconservative
Poster Comment:Harrelson's Biden was weak, just not good casting. And not good for Dems either since Harrelson is a younger and far more vital man than Biden, highlighting Biden's age and frailty in any comparison. Harrelson looks like what Americans want to see in a president: experience along with vitality and force of will. The real Biden will suffers by comparison. Some decent jokes in it, a rarity in modern SNL fare.
Guy calls 9/11 over “Rabid dog” in his house
Post Date: 2019-09-27 11:03:03 by Tooconservative
Near-Dead Battery in Fremont Police Tesla Forces Officer Off Pursuit
Post Date: 2019-09-27 05:56:10 by Deckard
KPIX FREMONT (CBS SF) A Tesla electric patrol car by the Fremont Police ran low on electricity in the middle of a pursuit, after the department said someone forgot to plug the vehicle into a charger. According to officials, the officer was pursuing a vehicle headed down to the South Bay when the car began to run low on battery power. Just slowed down to six miles of battery on the Tesla, so I may lose it here in a sec, the officer said, according to police radio transmissions. If someone else is able, can they maneuver into the number one spot? Other units took over the pursuit. Police said the chase was called off when it became unsafe, and the suspect ...
SHREK IS BREAKING THIS DOG OBSTACLE COURSE RECORD!!
Post Date: 2019-09-26 18:12:15 by Liberator
Dog handler's Chihuahua called in sick. Shrek stepped up for an impressive performance. The AKC Powers That Be allowed the substitute. Announcer Bob Menery sounds a lot like Bob Uecker.
Pigeon poops on state lawmaker as he gives TV interview about pigeon poop problem
Post Date: 2019-09-20 10:31:24 by Deckard
Rep. Jaime Andrade (D-Chicago) was giving a TV interview about the pigeon poop problem at a train station when a pigeon promptly illustrate the lawmakers point. Ill just have to go clean up, Andrade said. Thats what happens to my constituents. They get [expletive] on all time.
Say That Again, I WILL Kick Your Ass
Post Date: 2019-09-19 05:38:39 by Deckard
NEW YORKI dont mind it when you lie to me with marketing terms or puff me up with overblown predictionsIm in show business, thats what we dobut stop using these words that are designed to disguise what youre really doing to me. If you really wanna piss me off, use any of the following ten terms: (1) That would be a hard no, Joe Bob. (Variation: Thats a nonstarter, Joe Bob.) (Second variation: That wont fly at any level, Joe Bob.) This is the equivalent of a 7-year-old on the elementary school playground who runs out of arguments and says, I dont care what you say! Im not changing my ...
EVERYBODY FOR PRESIDENT!
Post Date: 2019-09-18 07:13:07 by Deckard
-- Well, at least everybody who feels ready for the responsibility of self-goverment. Those who still need a Big Daddy or a Big Momma to discipline and dominate them should vote for whatever furhrer or saviour they like best. If you want self-government don't vote for the Two Lying Bastards of the Democan and Republicrat parties..... or for any minority party that also wants to govern you....WRITE IN YOUR OWN NAME**The GADP does not endorse any candidate claiming to run as the official GADP candidate. There is no official GADP candidate, except perhaps occasionally when Olga inexplicably decides to campaign for President of Multiverse. Despite the impressive detailed descriptions of ...
Are Comedians Finally Fighting Back Against the Far Left’s Cultural Clampdown?
Post Date: 2019-09-15 15:16:32 by Tooconservative
Are comedians fighting back against the cultural Marxism of the critics? So-called political correctness which, oddly enough, is a line of ideological adherence which is neither political nor correct has appeared to be clamping down on the comic stage for quite a while. But theres recent evidence to suggest those at the mic are trying to break free. Buzzfeed recently scolded Dave Chappelle for truly vile jokes about transgender people, Michael Jackson, and the #MeToo movement in his Netflix special Sticks and Stones. Vice told folks to skip the performance, and Vanity Fair called the act stale. Surely some on the far Left were also ...
Orange County deputy accidentally shoots himself while training
Post Date: 2019-09-13 06:09:32 by Deckard
ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. - An Orange County Sheriff's Office patrol corporal wounded himself Wednesday when he accidentally fired his weapon during a training exercise, officials said. Sheriff John Mina said the deputy was at a department training facility on Wewahootee Road around 10:30 a.m. when he accidentally shot himself. "The deputies on the scene and the firefighters who responded provided excellent care based on their training," Mina said. "We were able to stop the bleeding right away and get him transported here to Orlando Health." Mina said the deputy was awake and alert after the incident. He said the Sheriff's Office employee has ...
Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat
Post Date: 2019-09-11 08:31:03 by Deckard
Babylon Bee [Satire] U.S.As society becomes increasingly dominated by nerds, hipsters, and computer programmers, people have fixated on what they think is our biggest problem: masculinity. Its just toxic and causes nothing but problems, said Elisha Mcewen, a vegan activist and no threat whatsoever to spiders or tight jar lids. I was sharing my feelings on masculinity with other men in my drum circle, and we all agreed that if we ever encountered masculinity, we would run far away. Masculinity is said to have in the past been the cause of such things as violence, war, bullying, defeating the Nazis, carving society out of untamed wilderness, and ...
Ron White: California Cops
Post Date: 2019-08-25 11:07:22 by Deckard
If There Wasn't any Government...
Post Date: 2019-08-24 12:13:25 by Deckard
San Francisco Changes Term 'Convicted Felons' To More Politically Correct 'Elected Officials'
Post Date: 2019-08-23 11:50:45 by nolu chan
San Francisco Changes Term 'Convicted Felons' To More Politically Correct 'Elected Officials' August 22nd, 2019 SAN FRANCISCO, CAIn a move to make sure criminals are treated fairly, San Francisco has instituted a policy of referring to "convicted felons" by the much more politically correct term "elected officials." "These convicted felons are finding it harder to advance to higher political office when we keep bringing up their criminal activities," said San Francisco Mayor London Breed. "We must ensure they get a fair shake at ruining even more people's lives when they run for Congress, Senate, or the White House." The ...
'Friends, you're going to love Greenland. I was there on 9/11'
Post Date: 2019-08-17 10:33:08 by Deckard
Manhattan? Idve got Staten Island too for half the guilders. Louisiana? Bum deal. But Alaska? Im giving that back to Russia WASHINGTON (AP) President Donald Trump tweeted today he had purchased Greenland from the Kingdom of Denmark for $15bn plus Kanye West and the state of Massachusetts. Still, the announcement has been questioned abroad. Prime minister of Greenland Kim Kielsen, reached this morning before the sun set for the winter, commented: Clearly, the presidents mind is melting faster than our ice sheet. Danish prime minister Mette Frederiksen tried to strike a diplomatic note, saying: May God deliver us from this delusional ...
Good Cop/Bad Cop See if YOU can spot the difference
Post Date: 2019-08-11 10:57:20 by Deckard
How To Avoid Being Called A Russian Agent Online
Post Date: 2019-08-11 09:16:17 by Deckard
The always reliable NBC News has published an important and informative article titled Russia-linked Twitter accounts promoted doxxing over racial tension videos, which uses fearless investigative insinuations and cutting-edge vagueness to inform readers that viral videos of Americans being racist are essentially a Russian fabrication.The articles four authors boldly document the shocking, bombshell findings of a Clemson University study that almost 30 suspicious Twitter accounts were involved in retweeting videos of racist behavior from white Americans, and, as alert readers should all be aware by now, suspicious is another word for ...
What Your Beer Says About Your Politics
Post Date: 2019-08-10 15:33:35 by Deckard
Credit: Tracey Robinson, NMRPP It is often said that you can tell a lot about a mans sexual preference by what beer he drinks. Now, thanks to Tracey Robinson, you can get a good idea of how he votes as well. As it turns out, to the surprise of no one, Lone Star drinkers are vastly Republican but hardly vote. Microbrew drinkers on the other hand tend to lean democratic and have a high turnout rate. Here are some more interesting statistics about what your beer might be saying about your political life:If your looking to score with that wacky political science major who believes that not voting is a crime grab a Sierra Nevada whos drinkers have the ...
For old people
Post Date: 2019-08-09 11:23:48 by IbJensen
WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA? ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING? REALLY??? Recently, I went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets. (Unbelievable but sadly true...) (Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and ...
Stop This Deadly AR-15 Assault Rifle Before it Kills Again!
Post Date: 2019-08-05 10:24:47 by Deckard
Democrats Aren't Funny!
Post Date: 2019-08-01 08:49:17 by IbJensen
Millions Of ROUSes Begin Migration From Fire Swamp To Scenic Baltimore
Post Date: 2019-07-29 18:40:39 by nolu chan
Millions Of ROUSes Begin Migration From Fire Swamp To Scenic Baltimore Babylon BeeFake news you can trust July 29th, 2019 BALTIMORE, MDAccording to expert biologists working in Guilder's infamous Fire Swamp, millions of R.O.U.S.es---Rodents of Unusual Size---have begun a "great migration" from the deadly thicket to the scenic, idyllic city of Baltimore. "Due to deforestation by Guilder woodsmen and a sharp increase in tourism prompted by the documentary The Princess Bride, R.O.U.S.es have found their home threatened and are seeking more disgusting pastures," said a wildlife expert in the Fire Swamp. "Many people are trying to build summer homes here as ...
Chinese Sex Talk
Post Date: 2019-07-29 10:06:33 by IbJensen
Trump's doctored presidential seal leads to firing
Post Date: 2019-07-25 17:59:34 by Willie Green
Image copyright Alex Wong/Getty Images Image caption Donald Trump is recorded by the crowd speaking at the Teen Action Summit in Washington, DC A member of a conservative US group has been fired after projecting a doctored version of the presidential seal at an event featuring President Donald Trump. A representative for the group, Turning Point USA, told the Washington Post that the fake seal was a mistake, the result of a rushed online search.But while the group called the slip-up "unacceptable", they maintained there was no "malicious intent".So what's the story behind the doctored presidential seal? Image copyright AFP/Getty Images Image caption The ...
'I'm Still Sharp As A Tack,' Insists Mueller Moments Before Taking Phone Call On A Banana
Post Date: 2019-07-25 09:48:49 by nolu chan
'I'm Still Sharp As A Tack,' Insists Mueller Moments Before Taking Phone Call On A Banana Babylon Bee July 24th, 2019 WASHINGTON, D.C.Robert Mueller was being criticized for seemingly answering questions slowly, not recalling key details of his investigation, and appearing to be confused throughout his testimony Wednesday. After a brief recess, Mueller insisted he was entirely lucid. "I hear a few murmurs out there that I've lost it," he said. "Well, I haven't lost it. I've still got it. In fact, I'm still sharp as a tack." Before testimony could resume, however, Mueller interrupted the proceedings, appearing to reach for his ...
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