LF: TSA Bans Coke Bottles That Resemble Fictional Star Wars Explosives

Title: TSA Bans Coke Bottles That Resemble Fictional Star Wars Explosives
Source: Your Destination Now
URL Source: http://www.yourdestinationnow.com/2 ... oke-bottles-that-resemble.html
Published: Aug 30, 2019
Author: Staff
Post Date: 2019-09-03 09:05:27 by Deckard
Keywords: None
Views: 290
Comments: 4

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has banned passengers from bringing special bottles of Coca-Cola sold at Disney theme parks onto planes because the containers resemble the fictional "thermal detonator" devices in the Star Wars universe.

The bottles are being sold at the newly opened Galaxy's Edge, a Star Wars–themed attraction at Disneyland in California and at Disney's Hollywood Studios in Florida. It's a clever bit of marketing, but any parkgoers who want to take their Coke bottles home as soveigners will be out of luck if they plan to fly.

Really? Let's think through this. Anyone familiar enough with Star Wars to recognize a Coke bottle made to resemble a thermal detonator is also going to be aware of the fact that thermal detonators are fictional. Anyone else is just going to think, "Wow, that's an odd-looking Coke bottle."

Even a lot of casual Star Wars fans might not know what the bottle is supposed to mimic, since the thermal detonator isn't a well-known weapon. It's mostly just a minor plot device. Introduced in 1983's Return of the Jedi, the thermal detonator is a baseball-sized explosive that is implied to be very powerful. One is brandished menacingly by a disguised Princess Leia in the movie, but it never actually explodes on-screen. (Anton Chekov would be disappointed.)

But you know what does get used pretty often in Star Wars movies to kill and maim a lot of people and aliens? Lightsabers. And do you know what the TSA's policy regarding lightsabers is? They're perfectly fine — even in carry-on luggage!

That's because plastic reproductions of laser swords carried by fictional space warriors are obviously not actual weapons. No one worries about confusing a lightsaber with "the real thing," because that's ridiculous. But plastic Coke bottles shaped like a fictional explosive device that never actually explodes? Those are so dangerous that they can't even be packed in checked bags.

"The issue concerning Star Wars Galaxy's Edge-themed soda bottles has recently been brought to our attention by the general public, as these items could reasonably be seen by some as replica hand grenades," the TSA said in a statement Wednesday. "While we continue to review this issue, TSA officers will maintain the discretion to prohibit any item through the screening checkpoint if they believe it poses a security threat."

Sadly, the TSA has a long and inglorious history of making arbitrary decisions about what counts as a "security threat." The "thermal detonator" Coke bottles are forbidden under the same broad ban on replica weapons and explosives—except for lightsabers, I guess?—that has previously led TSA agents to seize items as innocuous as whiskey stones shaped like bullets.

This nonsensical prohibition is another good reminder that, nearly two decades after it was created, the TSA is not the last line of defense against terrorism. It's a bloated, wasteful bureaucracy that treats innocent Americans like criminals and then shares those stories for laughs on social media. It kills bunnies, gropes grandmothers, detains kids, and still can't find most of the actual weapons that get smuggled onto planes.

Having just returned from an lengthy flight to Colorado I was again reminded by the imbeciles of TSA why it is that I hate to fly! TSA should never have been formed in the first place. Inspection of passengers and their belongings by a gaggle of smart-aleck, negroes and foreign born, uneducated dummies is a practice that should have never been initiated.

Israel does it best. They know who the potential dangers are before they reach the airport. They have a few intelligent inspectors who profile and look into the eyes of passengers. America needs to dismantle the TSA and replace it with something that works and doesn't dis-accommodate travelers. Providing these weasels with a badge and a job is something I resent having to pay for.

Profiling has been deemed racist, and bad by the socialist left, government hating Paultards... and all criminals who feel they have a constitutional right, to victimize society.

If you don’t believe me, ask that asshole, Dicktard. He’d fucking shit himself if he was targeted for searching, due to profiling.