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The Water Cooler
See other The Water Cooler Articles Title: Any idea how long I'm going to have to remain vigilant?
Source:
rmag
URL Source: http://www.recoilmag.com/editorial/remain_vigilant_0205.html
Published: Mar 12, 2006
Author: By Jim "Jimbo" Murphy
Post Date: 2006-03-12 19:47:56 by continental op
Keywords: vigilant?, remain, going
Views: 1031
Comments: 3
Any idea how long I'm going to have to remain vigilant? I'm an American, proud and true. I work hard all week, wax my pickup every Saturday, watch football every Sunday, drink Budweiser straight out of the can and listen to Toby Keith as loudly as the law will permit. Politically, I vote for whichever candidate I think can win and I support my elected officials even when their decisions counter the arguments of common sense and logic. As you can imagine, I take my patriotism very seriously; believe me when I tell you that anyone ignorant enough to challenge my loyalty to this country ends up pulling pieces of my boot heel out of their teeth for weeks afterward. Still, there's one question regarding my devoted citizenship to this great country that's been eating at me for a couple of months now, and I've just got to ask ? does anyone have any idea how long I'm going to have to remain vigilant? Make no mistake, when our President called upon the American people to "remain vigilant" as we embarked on the war on terror following September 11, I was among the first in line to start investigating out-of-place packages and patting down suspicious-looking convenience store clerks. But after three-and-a-half years of gladly keeping a lynx-eye out 24 hours a day for any sign of another devious terrorist plot, I'm starting to miss the good old days when this country was completely secure and could not be messed with ? and I could get drunk watching wrestling instead of sitting out on the porch all night with a pair of binoculars and a loaded shotgun between my legs. So if anyone who's "in the loop" could just give me a ballpark timeframe on when I'll be able to shove my head back into the sand, that would be a real morale booster. Look, we already know that America is ultimately going to prevail in the war on terrorism ? our President assured us of that right after 9/11. And we must have killed at least 75 percent of the terrorists when we bombed the shit out of Iraq and that other terrorist country. So it would sure seem like we could at least get away with only being about half as vigilant as when we started. Maybe half the population could be vigilant on odd days, and the other half on even ? you know, like parking your car on city streets during winter. Because, honestly, I need some time to worry about other things ? like getting that underground sprinkler system installed on the front lawn this spring. Believe you me, if you would have seen my shameful excuse for a lawn last summer, you'd understand why I'm more afraid of getting scorning death-stares from my neighbors than some terrorist setting off a dirty bomb at the local armory. Let's be clear: I'll see my children burn in hell before I just sit back and watch the terrorists win, but this constant vigilance gig is starting to become a grind. If anyone knows when we're expected to be completely safe again, please send word. I'd like to go back to vigilantly watching TV.
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