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Title: New Definitons
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Published: Apr 12, 2011
Author: None
Post Date: 2011-04-12 19:36:31 by CZ82
Keywords: None
Views: 98549
Comments: 143
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.. 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido : All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler Effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent. 6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
Poster Comment: 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. Isn't this where the Liberals live?????
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Comments (1-63) not displayed.
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#64. To: yukon (#62)
Answer my question; when you blow a fartski, does it have a brassy sound to it like a tuba gone wrong? Or is like the dying breath of an old man as if many long blunt human appendages have spent a lot of time stretching and working the orifice in question? Just curious, mind you.
Not surprised at all at WHAT you are curious about, mustelid. You and your ilk are all queer.
Bitsy referred to me once as Satan's spawn. My mother is a goddammed Saint.
America...My Kind Of Place...
Why worry? Everyone knows Satan uses condoms and this can't be true. I mean, look at the quality of people who go.... down there? Even a devil of a person knows when, where and how to stick it to that crowd. Note to A K A: (Just talking in metaphor, Stone; even us non-Christians use it) ;-D
((((((CRICKETS))))))
{;^D
America...My Kind Of Place...
For a self-proclaimed highly intellectual person, it sure takes you an inordinate amount of time to formulate an answer. What's your problem DBR, are you a psycho just like buckeroo?
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
LOL! These are great! Every single one of them.
Why is it that no one here actually comments on the contents of the thread? Everyone seems so busy infighting. Seems like a couple of participants know only a few words or acronyms (primarily extensions of LOL). Maybe this humorous piece will increase their vocabularies.
For a self-proclaimed highly intellectual person, it sure takes you an inordinate amount of time to formulate an answer. What's your problem DBR, are you a psycho?
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
The vast majority are NOT buying your "I wuz haCked" FAIRY tale, and are getting quite a kick out of watching you squirm through your various attempts to vilify anyone not buying it. Makes ya mad enough to want to scratch their eyes out, doesn't it, twink.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
ROTFLOLAY! Have you been contracting CNN for polling? Let's see the results, dipwad! I point at and laugh at you easily duped morons. You and your ilk aren't very bright. You are too stupid to be embarrassed. So gullible to be suckered and not man enough to admit it
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
yucon,v. attempt to bullshit someone. example: "He yuconed everyone, but they laughed in his face."
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Welcome to the site Zesta. Hopefully the "fag wars" will end soon.
lol ... ROTFLAMO ... Welcome ... Oh, I feel certain your "humorous piece will increase vocabularies" here on LF. I feel certain we will learn a great deal from you.
You've yet to post any names, gasbag diva!
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
see post #76.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
You've yet to post any names, COWARDLY gasbag diva!
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
You truly are a MASTER baiter.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
It's readily apparent you're in over your head. Maybe you ought to back-channel your butt-buddies for help. Bring em!
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Is that your twin, COWARDLY gasbag diva?
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
You've yet to post any names, COWARDLY gasbag diva!
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
Bet you're pissed enough to scratch someones' eyes out!
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
I point at and laugh at you, COWARDLY gasbag diva! LOLAYDA!
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
And most likely you're skipping while you're doing it, with the non-pointing arm flapping in the air, elbow tucked neatly into your side.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Drinking a Guinness Draught and laughing as I make you dance by remote, little marionette.
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
It is fun to watch you make him dance ...
Sure twink, sure. You talk like a fag. "Dance"?????? "little marionette" ???????? You're not doing much in the way to bolster your FAIRY tale.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Give up on getting me banned?? LMAO.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
How can I give up on something I never tried ... stupid? ROTFLMAO ... Yukon, pull his strings some more ...
"Dehhhhhhh, hey yukon, deeehhhh, pull his strings summore, deeeeehhhhhhhhh". Didn't I see you playing a banjo in the movie "Deliverance"??? You really think anyone here takes you, yukon, or any of the hit squad seriously since I spent hours exposing you guys last night??? Jesus "Gatlin", get a fucking clue!
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
You appear to be angry enough to scratch someone's eyes out, diva! LOLAY!
Actually, I feel sorry for you, Rudgear. Being hatched on a fencepost would probably make anyone a retarded POS!.
You're powerless here yukon. Your tactics, your "group" ... all of it, has been exposed. You guys are doing nothing now except making even bigger fools of yourselves than you did previously. Nobody takes you, Gatlin or any of the others seriously. Your juvenile tauntings and "ganging on" have no effect other than to make people laugh at you. Go back to LP, where you're protected by Goldi's skirts.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Alex, "I'll take a fucking clue for a thousand." BTW, I am not Jesus Gatlin ... just Gatlin, please. I know how highly you must think of me ... but that is going a little overboard, dontcah think?
When you people are ripping me and saying I protect people. Make sure you say that you are being protected by Stones "muscles".
Nah, I was Burt Reynolds.
You'll be the first I ping to it, should it ever occur.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Better you "attempt" to expose us ... than to continue exposing yourself in public parks. Ya think ...
see #96.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
I didn't know you were playing that close attention to my zipper. You stop it now ... ya hear, just stop it. lol (sorry Zesta ... yukon made me do that).
Nah, I am not interested in seeing "96" ... "69" woud be far better. I hate that back to back stuff ... We can stop this anytime you wish to ... just let me know when you are ready.
Comments (105 - 143) not displayed.
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#65. To: Ferret Mike (#64)
Just curious, mind you.
#66. To: Ferret Mike (#63)
#67. To: war (#66)
#68. To: diva betsy ross, All (#62)
#69. To: Ferret Mike (#67)
Why worry? Everyone knows Satan uses condoms and this can't be true.
#70. To: diva betsy ross, buckerooAll (#62)
#71. To: CZ82 (#0)
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
#72. To: diva betsy ross (#10)
You see these posters all line up together and ping each other, and bring their games over here, from over there.
#73. To: diva betsy ross, All (#70)
#74. To: yukon (#50)
You and your ilk aren't very bright. You are too stupid to be embarrassed. So gullible to be suckered and not man enough to admit it.
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#75. To: Wood_Chopper (#74)
The vast majority
#76. To: CZ82 (#0)
(Edited)
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#77. To: Zesta (#72)
#78. To: Zesta (#72)
#79. To: Wood_Chopper (#74)
The vast majority
#80. To: yukon (#79)
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#81. To: Wood_Chopper (#80)
see post #76.
#82. To: yukon (#81)
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#83. To: yukon (#81)
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#84. To: Wood_Chopper (#82)
MASTER baiter.
#85. To: Wood_Chopper (#83)
It's readily apparent you're in over your head.
#86. To: yukon (#85)
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#87. To: Wood_Chopper (#86)
#88. To: yukon (#87)
I point at and laugh at you, COWARDLY gasbag diva! LOLAYDA!
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#89. To: Wood_Chopper (#88)
And most likely you're skipping while you're doing it
#90. To: yukon (#89)
Drinking a Guinness Draught and laughing as I make you dance by remote, little marionette.
#91. To: yukon (#89)
Drinking a Guinness Draught and laughing as I make you dance by remote, little marionette.
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#92. To: Tater (#90)
It is fun to watch you make him dance ...
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#93. To: Wood_Chopper, yukon (#92)
Give up on getting me banned?? LMAO.
#94. To: Tater (#93)
(Edited)
Yukon, pull his strings some more ...
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#95. To: Wood_Chopper, Tater (#94)
Jesus "Gatlin", get a fucking clue!
#96. To: yukon (#95)
You appear to be angry enough to scratch someone's eyes out, diva! LOLAY!
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#97. To: Wood_Chopper (#94)
Jesus "Gatlin", get a fucking clue!
#98. To: Wood_Chopper, all (#96)
Go back to LP, where you're protected by Goldi's skirts.
#99. To: Wood_Chopper (#94)
Didn't I see you playing a banjo in the movie "Deliverance"???
#100. To: A K A Stone (#98)
When you people are ripping me and saying I protect people. Make sure you say that you are being protected by Stones "muscles".
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#101. To: Wood_Chopper (#94)
... since I spent hours exposing you guys last night???
#102. To: Tater (#101)
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#103. To: Wood_Chopper, Zesta, yukon (#96)
all of it, has been exposed.
#104. To: Wood_Chopper (#102)
see #96.
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