Humor
See other Humor Articles
Title: New Definitons
Source:
E-Mail
URL Source: http://N/A
Published: Apr 12, 2011
Author: None
Post Date: 2011-04-12 19:36:31 by CZ82
Keywords: None
Views: 98678
Comments: 143
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.. 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. 12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 13. Glibido : All talk and no action. 14. Dopeler Effect : The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent. 6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
Poster Comment: 5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. Isn't this where the Liberals live?????
Post Comment Private Reply Ignore Thread
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
Comments (1-102) not displayed.
.
.
.
#103. To: Wood_Chopper, Zesta, yukon (#96)
I didn't know you were playing that close attention to my zipper. You stop it now ... ya hear, just stop it. lol (sorry Zesta ... yukon made me do that).
Nah, I am not interested in seeing "96" ... "69" woud be far better. I hate that back to back stuff ... We can stop this anytime you wish to ... just let me know when you are ready.
I would say that your problem here is not all that unusual. In every forum I've ever been on the pointless "flame-fight" threads get all the play. ("I'll admit to posting a couple of them but I really feel that Goldi's version of the Snooker-Thon was a relevant issue because she was asking for checks made out so that anybody and their dog could cash them and that was basically my reason for posting them.)
Would you still like to learn about my distinguished military career? You were asking about it last night.
again, see post #96. You're powerless here at LF. Go back to LP and hide behind Goldi's skirts.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Nah, AGAIN ... not interested.
Who wants power when they have charm, personality and money?
Baaaah Baaaah ... I think your sheep need attending to.
My work here is finished.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Why, you wanna play "peek-a-boo?" Okay ... I'll play your silly game with you. Goo Goo Dah ... peek-a-boo. There, happy now. Then take your "pacifier" and go to beddy-bye
Finished? You work never started ... it was a flameout, but you wouldn't know about that sorta thing. Would you?
Ya cum bak ... ya hear!
Laughs. Oh, that's a keeper!
ROTFLOLAY! Have you been contracting CNN for polling? Let's see the results, dipwad! What do you say we take a poll?
looks like you found something to keep yukon busy all day.
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
Apparently Goldi-Stone didn't want to see the results of the poll I posted. It's been deleted.
I am 100% certain that he was not hacked.
America...My Kind Of Place...
So am I, and so are 90% of the posters here, which is probably why Stone took down the poll.
It's been deleted It should be obvious to you that Stone has had enough of the "stirring the pot crap" ... as have I and others. It is far past time to let the obsessed vendetta fade into the sunset ... to return never more.
I am 100% certain that he was hacked. Stone said also said that it was his opinion that he was hacked.
Unproven statement ... purely personal conjecture masked to support a biased opinion. ... "probably" ... "maybe" ... "could be" ... Facts, Watson, just the facts!
You know what? That poll would have settled the question once and for all.
Looks like the Wood_Chopper chops more than "wood." The Wood_Chopper just chopped of his tongue ... the poll has been removed. ROTFLMAO ...
The only ones who support the ludicrous assertion that yukon was "hacked" are you, harrowup, 22rifle, stone and of course yukon. The rest of us have enough intelligence to see through the sham.
That poll would have settled the question once and for all. I know a multitude of "what's" ... but that "ain't" one of them. It would have settled nothing ... it would only have proven that biased people have a bias. Elementary, my Dear Watson, elementary. Which is where you should be, in elementary school ... aren't you late already?
The only ones who cannot prove Goldi, Stone and yukon wrong in their truthful assertion that yukon was "hacked" are you and ... ... ... ... ... The rest of us have superior intelligence to see the biased hatred in your agenda. Yours still is an Unproven Statement and will remain for eternity that way ...
Stone should have more than an opinion on it. But Stone, for some odd reason, has decided to extend some sense of the humanitarian to Yukon. So Be It. You still doing the 05huundred deal, Sir? Impressive...
America...My Kind Of Place...
You're a riot!!!! "OK everybody, it's time to stop all this crap about yukon. Oh, and yukon was hacked."
And the sheep will bleat their submission, Burma Shave.
"OK everybody, it's time to stop all this crap about yukon. Oh, and yukon was hacked." Nope, I am a controller of "riots." Glad to see you have now finally realized the TRUTH.
Market opens in one hour ... early bird and all that jazz. It's time for me to start the daily buy/sell routine.
Nope. We The People said it was true and forget it and move on; you also forgot Murron. There aren't any other posters with the intelligence to know.
Gee, then why take down the poll?
I hate to have to repeat myself. Gotta go folks; tractor needs repair.
I had most of my of my stuff done by 7:15...so much in the MM's is done by 8AM any more. Then my WC accounts will be come around in a few minutes... But I laugh at those who claim I don't work...when I've done more by 7:30 than most will have done in a day...
America...My Kind Of Place...
Just caught up with my stuff ... now I watching and waiting. On busy days, I do between 30 to 50 trades a day. On those days, I am huffing and puffing. Today will be another slow day ... no real movements in any of the equities I follow, except silver. I add sizeable amount of silver equities each morning ... for the long term, which I feel sure will be rewarding. Enough personal chat. Wood_Chopper will again ask me to prove everything I say/said, so I don't want to give him too much "black powder."
ROFL
#1. To: Goldi-Lox (#0) I used the wrong link. yukon posted on 2011-03-27 1:40:47 ET
There was a poll that got taken down?? I'd say the consensus was 80%-20% that the Statist-shilling Alaskan #1. To: Goldi-Lox (#0) I used the wrong link. yukon posted on 2011-03-27 1:40:47 ET
I hear shares of "Yu-Klown's Canary-Crap" are plummeting.
#1. To: Goldi-Lox (#0) I used the wrong link. yukon posted on 2011-03-27 1:40:47 ET
You heard wrong ... but with all the shit you have stuffed in your ears, it is understandable why you continually hear wrong. LOLAY ...
It really doesn't matter what "you say" liberator ... never has, and never will.
Yu-kloughn is going to become an urban dictionary entry if he doesn't cool his jets, regardless of what his lawyer does.
Actually, I feel sorry for you, yu-klown. Growing up with Sally as a mother would probably turn anyone queer.
all of it, has been exposed.
#104. To: Wood_Chopper (#102)
see #96.
#105. To: A K A Stone (#77)
The Fed EXPOSED!!! The FARO RESERVE BANK!!!
#106. To: Wood_Chopper (#104)
#107. To: Tater (#103)
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#108. To: Wood_Chopper (#107)
again, see post #96.
#109. To: Wood_Chopper (#107)
You're powerless here at LF.
#110. To: Wood_Chopper (#107)
And the sheep will bleat their submission,
#111. To: Tater (#109)
Who wants power when they have charm, personality and money?
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#112. To: Wood_Chopper (#107)
... Go back to LP and hide behind Goldi's skirts.
#113. To: Wood_Chopper (#111)
My work here is finished.
#114. To: Wood_Chopper (#111)
My work here is finished.
#115. To: Wood_Chopper (#76)
yucon,v. attempt to bullshit someone. example: "He yuconed everyone, but they laughed in his face."
#116. To: yukon, Wood_Chopper (#75)
(Edited)
The vast majority are NOT buying your "I wuz haCked" FAIRY tale, and are getting quite a kick out of watching you squirm through your various attempts to vilify anyone not buying it.
#117. To: Bill D Berger (#116)
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#118. To: Wood_Chopper (#117)
looks like you found something to keep yukon busy all day.
#119. To: Bill D Berger (#116)
#120. To: war (#119)
I am 100% certain that he was not hacked.
#121. To: Bill D Berger. A K A Stone (#118)
looks like you found something to keep yukon busy all day. Apparently Goldi-Stone didn't want to see the results of the poll I posted.
#122. To: war, A K A Stone (#119)
I am 100% certain that he was not hacked.
#123. To: Bill D Berger (#120)
So am I, and so are 90% of the posters here, which is probably why Stone took down the poll.
#124. To: Tater (#121)
It should be obvious to you that Stone has had enough of the "stirring the pot crap" ...
#125. To: Wood_Chopper (#117)
looks like you found something to keep yukon busy all day.
#126. To: Tater (#123)
Unproven statement ...
#127. To: Bill D Berger (#124)
You know what?
#128. To: Bill D Berger (#126)
(Edited)
The only ones who support the ludicrous assertion that yukon was "hacked" are you, harrowup, 22rifle, stone and of course yukon.
#129. To: Tater, A K A Stone (#122)
Stone said also said that it was his opinion that he was hacked.
#130. To: Tater (#121)
Seeing the others as fools,
Not knowing nor even caring,
They've become no more than tools.
#131. To: Wood_Chopper (#130)
You're a riot!!!!
#132. To: war (#129)
(Edited)
You still doing the 05huundred deal, Sir? Impressive...
#133. To: Bill D Berger, We The People, Murron (#126)
The only ones who support the ludicrous assertion that yukon was "hacked" are you, harrowup, 22rifle, stone and of course yukon.
#134. To: harrowup (#133)
Nope. We The People said it was true and forget it and move on; you also forgot Murron.
#135. To: Bill D Berger (#134)
There aren't any other posters with the intelligence to know.
#136. To: Tater (#132)
#137. To: war (#136)
I had most of my of my stuff done by 7:15
#138. To: Wood_Chopper, Bill D Berger, Rudgear, Hondo68 (#76)
yucon,v. attempt to bullshit someone. example: "He yuconed everyone, but they laughed in his face."
#139. To: Bill D Berger, A K A Stone (#134)
(Edited)
Gee, then why take down the poll?
Parrot Parakeet is a "nutless, gutless CT-Flamer."
#140. To: Tater (#132)
It's time for me to start the daily buy/sell routine.
#141. To: Liberator (#140)
I hear shares of "Yu-Klown's Canary-Crap" are plummeting.
#142. To: Liberator (#139)
I'd say the consensus was 80%-20% that the Statist-shilling Alaskan Parrot Parakeet is a "nutless, gutless CT-Flamer."
#143. To: Liberator (#138)
Top • Page Up • Full Thread • Page Down • Bottom/Latest
[Home] [Headlines] [Latest Articles] [Latest Comments] [Post] [Mail] [Sign-in] [Setup] [Help] [Register]