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Latest Articles: Humor
We need a new cuckoo clock
Post Date: 2019-02-24 07:50:52 by Tooconservative
12 Comments
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'. Well, the hours passsed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed in ...
Democrats
Post Date: 2019-02-07 17:36:31 by GrandIsland
9 Comments
Elizabeth Warren – 1/1024 Indian, Nathan Phillips - 1/1024 Vietnam Veteran, Richard Blumenthal – 1/1024 Vietnam Veteran, Cory Booker – 1/1024 Spartacus, Chelsea Manning – 1/1024 Female, Rachel Dolezal – 1/1024 Black, Beto O'rourke – 1/1024 Mexican, Christine Ford – 1/1024 Believable, Barrack Hussein Obama – 1/1024 American, Hillary Clinton – 0/1024 President Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez - 1/1024 Educated David Hogg - 1/1024 Survivor Dicktard - 1/1024 Conservative
The Status of Ruth Bader Ginsburg's Health
Post Date: 2019-02-05 08:19:07 by IbJensen
5 Comments
Feeling the anxiety & emotional strain of .gov shutdown - FBI director Wray, VIDEO
Post Date: 2019-01-26 17:37:44 by Hondo68
2 Comments
FBI director 'angry' over shutdown in video for workers
Poster Comment:What a pompous lying POS. Most Americans love the .gov shutdown and want it to be permanent, especially for the rotten corrupt FBI.
TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT
Post Date: 2019-01-25 09:44:38 by IbJensen
3 Comments
#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd. #9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't. #8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. #7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. #6. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a ...
Know Your Parasites
Post Date: 2019-01-05 11:49:42 by IbJensen
2 Comments
Poster Comment:Worthless piece of worn-out human debris. Isn't even fit to be eaten by the coyotes or wolves.
BEST AD EVER
Post Date: 2018-12-21 08:50:11 by Deckard
4 Comments
What kinda place ... Do you think --- this is !
Post Date: 2018-12-19 22:23:33 by BorisY
2 Comments
This guy where I live Just told me a funny joke This couple are dining At a super fashionable Expensive restaurant After the dinner Few extra drinks The lady slips under The table The manager runs over Says Your wife isn't allowed To be under the table What kinda place Do you think This is The man says My wife is walking In the door
Poster Comment:Ooopss
Catholic Couple and St.Pete
Post Date: 2018-12-12 14:08:20 by sneakypete
4 Comments
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter ...
Adam Shiff's Family Information
Post Date: 2018-11-19 08:46:30 by IbJensen
0 Comments
Adam's cousin Jack Schiff is a well-known personality in some circles. Here's why : Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schiff." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schiff and O. Schiff. Awe Schiff, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schiff, a partner of Kneedeep &. Schiff Inc. In turn, Jack Schiff married Noe Schiff, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schiff, Fulla Schiff, Giva Schiff, Bull Schiff, and the twins: Deep Schiff and Dip Schiff. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schiff married Dumb Schiff, a high school drop out. After being married ...
Hillary For 2020
Post Date: 2018-11-18 08:13:21 by IbJensen
14 Comments
7,000 American Troops Go to Iceland for NATO Training Exercise, Promptly Drink Every Beer in Sight
Post Date: 2018-10-28 14:23:50 by Stoner
1 Comments
Last Wednesday, October 17th, 6,000-7,000 American troops landed on Iceland for joint training exercises with other NATO forces. This is the largest NATO training exercise since 2015 and officialy started on Thursday, October 25th and will last through November 23. But, before their actual mission began, American troops decided they would partake in some good ol' fashion drinking in the nation's capital. In just two short days, bars across Reykjavík had to go into emergency mode as their beer supply simply could not keep up with the copious amounts of drinking that the American forces completed. According to press reports, "several bars in downtown Reykjavík ran ...
New Democrat Ad
Post Date: 2018-10-23 16:59:14 by redleghunter
2 Comments
Police seeking person who put googly eyes on historic Georgia statue
Post Date: 2018-10-14 11:11:29 by Willie Green
5 Comments
Police in Savannah, Georgia, are looking for answers after a statue of a Revolutionary War general was defaced with “googly eyes.” The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported Friday that local police were investigating after a query from city officials about the vandalism of Savannah's Nathanael Greene Monument went viral earlier this week. “Who did this?! Someone placed googly eyes on our historic #NathanaelGreene statue in #JohnsonSquare,” the official City of Savannah Government account wrote on its Facebook page in a post Thursday.“It may look funny but harming our historic monuments and public property is no laughing matter, in fact, ...
Who Dat? Back In The Closet With Cory Booker!
Post Date: 2018-10-08 11:51:35 by IbJensen
0 Comments
VEN (WASHINGTON) — According to the New York Times, the object of Cory Booker’s (D-NJ) unwanted New Year’s Eve groping desire was not a 15-year-old high-school girl as Mr Booker contends, but Mr Booker’s imaginary friend T- Bone, a young Afro-American boy who was questioning his sexuality when he and Mr Booker had what T-Bone called “a down-low experience with a higher up!” As T-Bone explained to VEN’s Senior #METOO Correspondent Mayella Ewell Sunday: “After we left Pitchers and Catchers in the East Village, we went to a party somewhere. Cory Booker’s real Spartacus Moment? “Cory and I were alone in a bedroom and were playing spin the ...
BREAKING — Supreme Court To Reverse Roe v Wade, Brown v Board Of Eduction?
Post Date: 2018-10-08 11:42:41 by IbJensen
0 Comments
VEN (WASHINGTON) — In a shocking move late Sunday confirming Progressives’ worse fears, Chief Justice John Roberts announced that the Supreme Court would be taking up Roe v Wade and Brown v Board of Education with the intent of reversing both decisions, citing “lack of compelling precedent in the US Constitution” to support the rulings. “We had to wait,” the Chief Justice explained to reporters early Monday, “until we had a conservative majority on the Court. And now with the appointment of Brett Kavanaugh we have that majority!” One former clerk for the recently retired Judge Kennedy — whose seat on the court was filled by Brett Kavanaugh in ...
Former Admitted Groper Cory Booker Says, ‘It Would Be Irresponsible Not To’ Consider 2020 Presidential Run
Post Date: 2018-09-21 07:04:17 by CZ82
6 Comments
Former Admitted Groper Cory Booker Says, ‘It Would Be Irresponsible Not To’ Consider 2020 Presidential Run By K. Walker - September 20, 2018 Maybe Cory ‘Spartacus’ Booker forgot that he has a potentially disqualifying incident of groping a woman against her will. Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) along with his colleague, Sen. Kamala Harris (D-CA) were using the Kavanaugh confirmation hearings as a platform to increase their profile as they both mull over a potential 2020 Presidential run. After much denial that that was the reason for his recent antics, Sen. Booker has confirmed that he is indeed planning on seeking the nomination from the Democratic Party to run for ...
Laugh of the Day
Post Date: 2018-09-21 06:46:53 by CZ82
13 Comments
Ranking the media from liberal to conservative, based on their audiences By Aaron Blake, October 21, 2014 One chart I didn't get to include in my post Tuesday morning on Pew's new study of Americans' media habits was the one below. Pew has basically taken the average viewer/consumer of all of these media outlets and plotted them on a continuum, trying to ascertain which outlets are favored by which side of the political spectrum. There aren't a whole ton of surprises here -- conservative talkers are on the far right, while most mainstream media outlets have a slightly left-of-center audience -- but there are a few interesting takeaways here: 1) The most-preferred media ...
Don't Piss Off Old People
Post Date: 2018-09-14 19:49:34 by Deckard
8 Comments
Condensed Version of Human History
Post Date: 2018-09-11 08:17:46 by IbJensen
2 Comments
For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version: Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: 1 . Liberals 2.. Conservatives. Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of ...
Top Eight Idiots In The News
Post Date: 2018-09-10 08:03:29 by IbJensen
7 Comments
1. *AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.' 3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where in the ...
Dear Singers and Actors:
Post Date: 2018-09-08 21:06:48 by Deckard
2 Comments
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