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Latest Articles: Humor
'Friends, you're going to love Greenland. I was there on 9/11'
Post Date: 2019-08-17 10:33:08 by Deckard
1 Comments
Manhattan? I’d’ve got Staten Island too for half the guilders. Louisiana? Bum deal. But Alaska? I’m giving that back to Russia WASHINGTON (AP) – President Donald Trump tweeted today he had purchased Greenland from the Kingdom of Denmark for $15bn plus Kanye West and the state of Massachusetts. Still, the announcement has been questioned abroad. Prime minister of Greenland Kim Kielsen, reached this morning before the sun set for the winter, commented: “Clearly, the president’s mind is melting faster than our ice sheet.” Danish prime minister Mette Frederiksen tried to strike a diplomatic note, saying: “May God deliver us from this delusional ...
Good Cop/Bad Cop See if YOU can spot the difference
Post Date: 2019-08-11 10:57:20 by Deckard
1 Comments
How To Avoid Being Called A Russian Agent Online
Post Date: 2019-08-11 09:16:17 by Deckard
1 Comments
The always reliable NBC News has published an important and informative article titled “Russia-linked Twitter accounts promoted ‘doxxing’ over racial tension videos”, which uses fearless investigative insinuations and cutting-edge vagueness to inform readers that viral videos of Americans being racist are essentially a Russian fabrication.The article’s four authors boldly document the shocking, bombshell findings of a Clemson University study that “almost 30 suspicious Twitter accounts” were involved in retweeting videos of racist behavior from white Americans, and, as alert readers should all be aware by now, “suspicious” is another word for ...
What Your Beer Says About Your Politics
Post Date: 2019-08-10 15:33:35 by Deckard
1 Comments
Credit: Tracey Robinson, NMRPP It is often said that you can tell a lot about a man’s sexual preference by what beer he drinks. Now, thanks to Tracey Robinson, you can get a good idea of how he votes as well. As it turns out, to the surprise of no one, Lone Star drinkers are vastly Republican but hardly vote. Microbrew drinkers on the other hand tend to lean democratic and have a high turnout rate. Here are some more interesting statistics about what your beer might be saying about your political life:If your looking to score with that wacky political science major who believes that not voting is a crime grab a Sierra Nevada who’s drinkers have the ...
For old people
Post Date: 2019-08-09 11:23:48 by IbJensen
2 Comments
WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA? ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING? REALLY??? Recently, I went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets. (Unbelievable but sadly true...) (Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and ...
Stop This Deadly AR-15 Assault Rifle Before it Kills Again!
Post Date: 2019-08-05 10:24:47 by Deckard
3 Comments
Democrats Aren't Funny!
Post Date: 2019-08-01 08:49:17 by IbJensen
1 Comments
Millions Of ROUSes Begin Migration From Fire Swamp To Scenic Baltimore
Post Date: 2019-07-29 18:40:39 by nolu chan
4 Comments
Millions Of ROUSes Begin Migration From Fire Swamp To Scenic Baltimore Babylon BeeFake news you can trust July 29th, 2019 BALTIMORE, MD—According to expert biologists working in Guilder's infamous Fire Swamp, millions of R.O.U.S.es---Rodents of Unusual Size---have begun a "great migration" from the deadly thicket to the scenic, idyllic city of Baltimore. "Due to deforestation by Guilder woodsmen and a sharp increase in tourism prompted by the documentary The Princess Bride, R.O.U.S.es have found their home threatened and are seeking more disgusting pastures," said a wildlife expert in the Fire Swamp. "Many people are trying to build summer homes here as ...
Chinese Sex Talk
Post Date: 2019-07-29 10:06:33 by IbJensen
0 Comments
Trump's doctored presidential seal leads to firing
Post Date: 2019-07-25 17:59:34 by Willie Green
5 Comments
Image copyright Alex Wong/Getty Images Image caption Donald Trump is recorded by the crowd speaking at the Teen Action Summit in Washington, DC A member of a conservative US group has been fired after projecting a doctored version of the presidential seal at an event featuring President Donald Trump. A representative for the group, Turning Point USA, told the Washington Post that the fake seal was a mistake, the result of a rushed online search.But while the group called the slip-up "unacceptable", they maintained there was no "malicious intent".So what's the story behind the doctored presidential seal? Image copyright AFP/Getty Images Image caption The ...
'I'm Still Sharp As A Tack,' Insists Mueller Moments Before Taking Phone Call On A Banana
Post Date: 2019-07-25 09:48:49 by nolu chan
9 Comments
'I'm Still Sharp As A Tack,' Insists Mueller Moments Before Taking Phone Call On A Banana Babylon Bee July 24th, 2019 WASHINGTON, D.C.—Robert Mueller was being criticized for seemingly answering questions slowly, not recalling key details of his investigation, and appearing to be confused throughout his testimony Wednesday. After a brief recess, Mueller insisted he was entirely lucid. "I hear a few murmurs out there that I've lost it," he said. "Well, I haven't lost it. I've still got it. In fact, I'm still sharp as a tack." Before testimony could resume, however, Mueller interrupted the proceedings, appearing to reach for his ...
DIVORCE AGREEMENT Between Republicans & Democrats
Post Date: 2019-07-18 08:51:48 by IbJensen
1 Comments
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. Here is our separation agreement: --Our two groups can equitably ...
HILLARY RELEGATED TO THE DUSTBIN OF HISTORY
Post Date: 2019-07-10 12:04:44 by IbJensen
12 Comments
Poster Comment:Appropriate ending for a real witch.
Why the Earth is actually 100% flat
Post Date: 2019-07-09 14:29:15 by nolu chan
0 Comments
Why the Earth is actually 100% flat By Dean Burnett Tue 26 Jan 2016 07.14 EST Last modified on Wed 14 Feb 2018 16.21 EST The Guardian (UK) Brain flapping Science Rapper B.o.B. has been criticised for publicly insisting the Earth is flat. You may think his claims are ludicrous, but the truth is: they don’t go far enough. Rapper B.o.B. has caused a furore by tweeting that the Earth is in fact flat, and you only need to look at the evidence to come to the same conclusion. Obviously, prominent scientists have openly mocked this claim, showing the many ways in which it is ludicrous, no matter how many people insist otherwise. They’re right though; sadly. B.o.B. is wrong. His ...
A Glass of Wine
Post Date: 2019-07-09 11:13:39 by IbJensen
3 Comments
A Glass of Wine To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine, and those who don't , and are always seen with a bottle of water in their hand, Ben Franklin said: "In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, In water there is bacteria." In a number of carefully controlled trials , scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E.. Coli) - bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop annually. However, We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine and beer (or rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to ...
“When you have a president who is a financial genius and a business Jesus like Donald Trump, you just got to trust him”
Post Date: 2019-05-12 10:40:49 by Willie Green
5 Comments
Saturday Night Live opened with a Meet the Press sketch that teased Republican leadership over their unimpeachable support of Donald Trump, even as the president’s actions conflict with their own political beliefs. For instance, all three GOP members – Beck Bennett’s Mitch McConnell, Kate McKinnon’s Lindsey Graham and Cicely Strong’s Susan Collins – were opposed to tariffs against China until Trump’s attempts to enforce them. “When you have a president who is a financial genius and a business Jesus like Donald Trump, you just got to trust him,” McKinnon’s Graham said. “This man has lost a hundred times more money than I have ever ...
Bad Lip Reading Warps Civil Dem Debate Into Hilarious Nonsense Bernie Sanders praises Hillary Clinton’s pinto beans, Jim Webb remains weird, Lincoln Chafee is still there
Post Date: 2019-05-07 07:41:36 by IbJensen
0 Comments
Poster Comment:For all the good they do, these debates, to a bored person, probably sound like this.
Here's What Democrat Debates Sound Like
Post Date: 2019-05-07 07:32:09 by IbJensen
0 Comments
Husband Store
Post Date: 2019-05-03 07:10:45 by Deckard
1 Comments
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Toronto, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the ...
China's moon landing sets stage for SPACE RACE (CBS News: "Let's Get Ready To RUMMM-BLE!!!")
Post Date: 2019-04-09 12:23:38 by Liberator
6 Comments
A historic moon mission is setting the stage for a new space race, this time between the U.S. and China. The Chinese Chang'e 4 became the first space probe to land on the far side of the moon. [!!!!!]
Poster Comment:CBS talking-head script: This "break-through" (NOT "Moon Landing") "may intensify US-Chinese rivalry." FOR WHOM, really?? Is that how this make YOU feel? Was that statement even actually remotely true? Everybody -- especially "Science" and Statist cultists -- should have felt tingles down their leg over this story! China: From Rickshaw-to-Space Ship in 30 years!! First of all, check out the merged flag of China and the US. A clear ...
Biden Pulls Off Dusty Tarp Covering Old Campaign Motorcycle
Post Date: 2019-04-01 08:09:43 by IbJensen
6 Comments
WASHINGTON—Saying it was time to “get out the hog for one last ride,” former Vice President Joe Biden pulled the dusty painter’s tarp off of his old campaign motorcycle Wednesday, gently running his hand along the polished chrome headlight and muttering “welcome back, baby.” The vehicle, a 1979 Harley-Davidson Electra Glide with flame decals on both the front and rear fenders, had reportedly been sitting at the back of his garage since the last time he “tore ass” around the capitol in 2012. Sources confirmed that after checking to see if the horn still worked, Biden grabbed a red chamois cloth from his back pocket, spit into it, and begin buffing ...
The Grim Reaper – Frequently A Personified Insignificant Force
Post Date: 2019-03-19 05:53:20 by Gatlin
18 Comments
Deckard, the articles you continually post exaggerates and amplifies negative news. You obviously post these articles containing distortion for intended consequences. The nature of news in these articles tries to make us “think” that the world is getting worse and we are on the path to an oblivion crisis which we must face with great anguish. While it is the effort of intent in these articles to make us “think” that – it has become your undying lifetime dedication to daily try and make us “believe” that. For it is every day that you habitually fill the sidebar with Matt Agorist stories from The Free Thought Project and other trashy yellow journalism ...
Nation’s Republicans Weep Bitterly Upon Learning Hillary Clinton Not Running In 2020
Post Date: 2019-03-06 07:05:58 by Deckard
2 Comments
Via The Babylon Bee U.S.—Uncontrollable wailing could be heard across the land Tuesday as American Republicans from coast to coast wept bitterly upon learning that Hillary Clinton had finally announced that she will not be running for president in 2020, multiple sources confirmed. “Please, God, let it not be true!” one sobbing Detroit man told reporters, explaining in between sniffles that a Trump vs. Clinton rematch would not only be a guaranteed victory for the president and embarrassment for the Democrats, but a spectacle of entertainment the likes of which the world has never seen. “No more ‘hot sauce’? No more ‘WHY AREN’T I FIFTY POINTS ...
Dear FRiends, Please get your donations in and let's wrap this baby up.
Post Date: 2019-03-01 11:20:57 by IbJensen
9 Comments
Dear FRiends, Please get your donations in and let's wrap this baby up. [FReepathon LX] Click here to donate via our new secure link: https://freerepublic.com/donate/ ^ Posted on 3/1/2019, 11:01:46 AM by Jim Robinson Calling all FReepers: We need your help to keep the lights on. Please donate today if you can. Wouldn't it be great if we reach the yellow today and then wrap it up within a few more days? FR is funded solely by contributions made by the liberty loving patriots who love and use it. We are beholden to no political party. No advertisers, no outsiders, no sugar daddies, no corporate string pullers. Definitely no government subsidies or tax breaks. No 501c or other ...
Oscar Bytes
Post Date: 2019-02-26 05:47:42 by Deckard
1 Comments
I like to keep up with the Academy awards to see just how much Hollywood has lost its mind from year to year. And since America is marinated in the juices of Hollywood, it’s a nice Rorschach test for the mysterious tendings of our nation. By the way, I got in a late screening of Black Panther the night before. It’s about the techno-metropolis of Wakanda hidden deep in the African jungle lo these many centuries. (Who knew?) The elite of that utopia travel the world in flying saucers. When trouble turns up, what weapons do they reach for? Spears. I kid you not. My favorite line in the movie: American white G-man to Nakia, Black Panther’s ex-girlfriend: “Put that ...
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