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Latest Articles: Humor
Hitler Reacts to Georgia Reopening Businesses
Post Date: 2020-05-26 23:06:13 by Deckard
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Joe Biden announces “You Ain’t Black Enough” CRACKERS as fundraiser for his campaign
Post Date: 2020-05-24 20:01:22 by Deckard
3 Comments
Introducing “You Ain’t Black Enough” CRACKERS, part of the innovative Joe Biden re-election campaign that hopes to help Americans aspire to greatness by telling them how inferior they are. “You Ain’t Black Enough” crackers are made out of white flour, white salt, white pride and dementia, manufactured and packaged in Whitesplains, Virginia by the Joe Biden cracker family. Each of the hand-crafted crackers is emblazoned with the likeness of Joe Biden’s face, grinning ear to ear as if he just finished fondling a seven-year-old girl. The crackers are toasted to a slightly off-white hue, but not too black, just as Joe Biden likes them. #YouAintBlack The ...
Thanks Celebrities!
Post Date: 2020-05-22 03:35:56 by Deckard
1 Comments
The 10 Worst States in The U.S.
Post Date: 2020-05-18 08:09:08 by Deckard
1 Comments
Apologies to my friends who live in California…
This cat doesn't want to be in the family photo
Post Date: 2020-05-11 00:07:13 by Deckard
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Japanese Mayor: Men Should Do Shopping Since Women Are 'Indecisive And Take Forever'
Post Date: 2020-04-24 23:25:17 by Deckard
1 Comments
The mayor of Osaka, Japan is taking heat after suggesting that men should do the grocery shopping amid the coronavirus pandemic because women are indecisive and "take a long time." Residents in certain parts of the island nation have been asked to shop less frequently and only send one family member to the store for supplies in order to to minimize the spread of COVID-19, according to CNA. Osaka Mayor Ichiro Matsui told reporters on Thursday (Apr 23) that men should be entrusted with grocery runs because women "take a long time as they browse around and hesitate about this and that", Kyodo news agency reported. "Men can snap up things they are told (to buy) ...
Guardian cats say "You Shall Not Pass, Dog!"
Post Date: 2020-04-24 11:23:29 by Liberator
9 Comments
Always the same answer! "You Shall Not Pass, Dog!!!" Our guardian outdoor cats never let the neighbour's cute little dog enter our garden. She always gets chased off by our two fearless female cats.
Poster Comment:I am a dog person but this is one of my favorite websites and vids. Silly cartoon-dog is baiting his cat neighbors into playing. The owner has indoor cats, but also now 8 outdoors cats, all with names, distinct personalities, and individual homes. Their owner has even created some clever cat soap-opera story lines. Like this one: 'Cat Gets His Heart Broken by His Girlfriend and Takes Revenge!': (Hey -- it's much better than Tee-Bee or Netflix))
Let's Try This S*** Again (Guaranteed Amusement for Everyone)
Post Date: 2020-04-18 19:03:44 by Liberator
15 Comments
What we have is some funny, some inspirational sh*t, some real sh*t, some I dont know what the f*ck sh*t, and some heart warming shit!! #WWG1WGA #Qanon #DDK
Poster Comment:I didn't write the title nor above overview. But it is true. This is "a little bit o' this, a little bit o' that. You will laugh. Be inspired. Wonder what the heck is going on. May even applaud, cheer, clap and fist-pump.
The Cynical Philosopher
Post Date: 2020-04-18 10:16:20 by IbJensen
1 Comments
♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number? ♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. ♦ I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. ♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. ♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. ♦ A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra ...
They drove us mad with Corona
Post Date: 2020-04-09 10:37:42 by Deckard
1 Comments
I went to the restroom at a restaurant. I washed my hands, opened the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue, then opened the bathroom door with my elbow to leave and when I returned to the table I realized… I forgot to pull up my pants!!!
*EPIC LAB BATTLE, EPIC MUSIC, EPIC VICTORY POSE!!*
Post Date: 2020-04-04 12:13:22 by Liberator
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“Stayin’ Inside” – Corona Virus Bee Gees Parody
Post Date: 2020-04-02 06:26:42 by Deckard
3 Comments
Coronavirus - new Lays Champions League commercial (funny edit)
Post Date: 2020-03-27 06:52:45 by Deckard
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Beware the Ides of March
Post Date: 2020-03-15 14:44:12 by Hank Rearden
1 Comments
Hell Confirmed To Be Eternal Ride On 'It's A Small World'
Post Date: 2020-03-07 10:33:43 by IbJensen
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HELL—Millions have converted to Christ upon the revelation that hell would simply be one endless ride on Disney's It's A Small World attraction. The ride will be completely unaltered except it will be hotter than the version at Disneyland. Those arriving in the place of eternal torment will be loaded on the boats and sent around. While they may think it's just the start of their stay in hell, the ride will actually never end, just going around and around for limitless eons. "We carefully considered the various forms of torture available to us but finally decided that the best punishment would simply be riding around and around hearing those infernal little ...
Terry Jones, Monty Python Founder and Scholar, Is Dead at 77
Post Date: 2020-01-22 13:08:51 by Hank Rearden
2 Comments
In addition to being a charter member of the celebrated British sketch troupe, he was a director, a screenwriter and an authority on Chaucer.
The DEA seized her father’s life savings at an airport without alleging any crime occurred, lawsuit says [Full Thread]
Post Date: 2020-01-17 10:11:03 by misterwhite
78 Comments
Every dollar Terry Rolin had saved over a lifetime was stacked in a large Tupperware container: $82,373. At 79, he was aging and worried about keeping so much cash on hand, his daughter said, so during one of her visits he asked her to open a joint bank account. Rebecca Brown was catching a flight home from the Pittsburgh airport early the next day and said she didn’t have time to stop at a bank. She confirmed on a government website that it’s legal to carry any amount of cash on a domestic flight and tucked the money in her carry-on. But just minutes before departure in late August, a Drug Enforcement Administration agent met her at the busy gate and questioned her about the ...
Santa Claus Accused Of Quid Pro Quo For Giving Children Gifts In Exchange For Good Behavior
Post Date: 2019-12-16 22:44:25 by nolu chan
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Santa Claus Accused Of Quid Pro Quo For Giving Children Gifts In Exchange For Good Behavior December 14th, 2019 U.S.—Legislators have begun to hold hearings on impeaching Santa Claus after an overheard conversation seemed to imply he was offering a quid pro quo: gifts in exchange for good behavior. FBI agents spied on Claus at various malls as he repeatedly said things like, "Sure, I'll get you a pony. But first, I need you to do something for me... be a good little boy!" The FBI was able to obtain a FISA warrant to spy on Claus, because it's easier to get a FISA warrant than to get a Costco membership. "Ho ho noooooo!" Santa Claus cried as ...
Dems Vow To Learn From Labour Party's Mistake Of Not Going Far Enough Left
Post Date: 2019-12-13 23:18:44 by nolu chan
5 Comments
Dems Vow To Learn From Labour Party's Mistake Of Not Going Far Enough Left Babylon Bee December 13th, 2019 WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats stateside were watching closely as UK election results came in Thursday. They wanted to see how the Labour Party did so they could learn from any mistakes they made. Well, sure enough, Labour endured a brutal massacre, losing seats they didn't even know they had. So, Democrats vowed to learn from their obvious mistake of not going far enough to the left. "It's clear that Labour lost because they weren't radical enough," said Rep. Ocasio-Cortez, who had seemingly endorsed Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party. "We're not ...
'I Am Being Held Hostage By The Squad And Am Impeaching Trump Against My Will,' Nancy Pelosi Frantically Blinks Out In Morse Code
Post Date: 2019-12-12 13:53:58 by nolu chan
9 Comments
'I Am Being Held Hostage By The Squad And Am Impeaching Trump Against My Will,' Nancy Pelosi Frantically Blinks Out In Morse Code WASHINGTON, D.C.—As Nancy Pelosi held a press conference along with other House Democrats to announce that they would be introducing articles of impeachment against President Trump, Pelosi reportedly blinked out a cry for help in morse code. Observant viewers noticed Pelosi was blinking out some kind of pattern. "Hey, it's morse code!" said one Fox News reporter. "Let's see what she's saying." Investigative journalists wrote down the complex series of dashes and dots blinked out by Pelosi, and sure enough, a ...
House Dems Unveil Surefire Plan To Get Trump Reelected
Post Date: 2019-12-12 13:51:56 by nolu chan
10 Comments
House Dems Unveil Surefire Plan To Get Trump Reelected December 10th, 2019 WASHINGTON, D.C.—House Democrats today announced a new plan to ensure Trump wins the White House again in 2020. "We hereby unveil these articles of impeachment, which clearly lay out the undeniable fact that we will not win the White House back next year," said Rep. Jerry Nadler. "We have found Trump guilty of absolutely nothing, but we already started this whole process and it would look bad to back out now, so here we are." "I declare here and now that Trump will be in the White House for at least another four years." Some questioned if this was the best strategy, but ...
Trump's Popularity Surges After Nation Learns He May Have Obstructed Congress
Post Date: 2019-12-11 16:17:34 by nolu chan
1 Comments
Trump's Popularity Surges After Nation Learns He May Have Obstructed Congress December 11th, 2019 U.S.—Democrats unveiled their articles of impeachment against President Trump, but one of the charges seems to have backfired. The suggestion that Trump obstructed Congress turned out to be a far more popular idea than Democrats had predicted. As soon as it was revealed that Trump may have slowed the legislative branch from getting any work done, Americans praised Trump for his patriotic service. Trump's popularity saw a huge spike in national polls, putting him in the 80% approval range for the first time ever. Support was bipartisan, as Republicans were happy he was stopping ...
Report: Jesus, Mary, Joseph Were Actually Detained Under Obama Administration
Post Date: 2019-12-11 16:15:56 by nolu chan
3 Comments
Report: Jesus, Mary, Joseph Were Actually Detained Under Obama Administration December 10th, 2019 CLAREMONT, CA—A nativity scene has been gaining much publicity in the media for its depiction of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph getting detained in cages at the border. But media coverage quickly ended when it was revealed that the Holy Family was actually detained under the Obama administration. One investigative journalist looked around the cages and found a stamp on one of them reading, "Manufactured in 2014 by order of President Barack Obama." "Hey, guys, uh, we've got a problem -- looks like this was Obama's doing," he said. "Aren't we supposed to ...
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